Yep...it is that time again... time for an oil change. I have taken it upon myself to change the oil in my Isuzu Rodeo the last few times it has needed it, not because I particularly enjoy it, not even because I am cheep and trying to save a few bucks... no, I have done it myself because Wal-Mart has refused to change my oil any more because they say my engine has a knock in it, and they are afraid to touch it, for fear that I will sue them should my engine blow-up as I am leaving the Wal-Mart parking lot. - True story! (Those 'Wal-Martians' are a bit weird if you ask me.)
Anyway, that is why I have been forced to take this dirty, time consuming, slightly annoying and all-to tedious of a task upon my own shoulders. (Although I will admit, it does satisfy some underlying masculine desire to be the master and commander of your own machine. ;-) But that's another story for another blog post.
Today I have decided to go with the low end Wal-Mart special Super-Tech brand of oil. Again, not because I am a cheapskate, but because my poor little Rodeo is old, sickly, and frankly I don't really think he would notice the difference between the $1.40 Wal-Mart brand and the $3.50 high-end brand anyway.
Ain't this a pretty view?
Darn Wal-Martians... who cares if the engine has a knock... can't I just sign a waiver or something... just change the freakin' oil people... I won't sue... I promise!
Gross...
Though there may be an understated "manly satisfaction" from changing your own oil, I am secure enough in my manhood to admit that I will NEVER enjoy the feeling - or the smell - of dirty used oil smeared all over my hands and arms.
Darn Wal-Martians!
As I unscrew the oil filter and try to remove it from the tangled web of iron that makes up the front portion of my engine, I somehow manage to get the darn thing wedged between a bolt and the metal frame of my front bumper... I struggle for 20 minutes trying to remove it!
Urrghhh!... Darn Wal-Martians!
When I finally get the stupid oil filter un-stuck, I crawl out from beneath my engine to see my dog Chonte cracking a smirk as she tries not to laugh at me. -- I'm glad to see someone is enjoying this fiasco.
Darn Wal-Martians!
I could be playing pool right now... or watching old re-runs of MASH... anything but this!!!
Oh yeah... and wipe that smirk off your face Chonte!
Finally, the messy part is over. Now all I got to do is fill the engine with the new oil, then I can call it a day.
Check out my sweet redneck oil funnel... a sawed-off coke bottle! How "redneck" is that! Shhh...don't tell anybody else about that one. But hey... it was free and it got the job done.
Mission accomplished. I feel somewhat satisfied in a job well done, but mostly I just feel like I wasted an hour-and-a-half of my life on something I really was not cut out to do in the first place...
Darn Wal-Martians!
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