..:: blackness within ::..

I smile.
I smile often.
Sometimes I do not know why.
I kid myself and say it is because
  my heart is always happy
  and that that happiness is reflecting on the outside.
But that is not always the case.
Today I don’t feel happiness.
Today I feel stress.
Today I feel loneliness.
Today I feel vanquished
  by the winds of life and love
  or the lonesome lack thereof.

Still I smile.
Why do I smile?
Why can’t I show people
  the way I truly feel inside.
Why can’t I share my sadness
  with those that pretend to care?
Why do I try to shine
  when there is blackness within?

Who am I trying to protect?
Is it them or me
  that I am trying to shelter?
Why do I try to give
  when all I feel is emptiness inside?
Why won’t people accept
  what little I have to share?
Why do people only take notice
  when the end game profits them?

Still - I fight the blackness
  and shine a spiritless smile
  in spite of my chagrin.
But as the smile shines
  the hypocrisy confines
  and the blackness grows within.

I cannot help but smile.
I guess that is just what I do.
I have faith that tomorrow
  will reward today’s joy.
But thus far that’s been a lie.
So when I look at you I smile
  though deep inside I cry.

..:: inception ::..

Greetings world...

My name is Ryan. Yes I have a last name too, but that is unimportant right now.

This blog is not truly about me anyway, but about the world I see. It is not a day-to-day description of my life, but the life that envelops me.

My purpose behind this blog is to discover the 'highlights' hidden in the 'humdrum'... to sift the momentous from the monotony... to seek enlightenment in everyday life.

I don't know how this journey will progress, where it will take me, or what I will find along the way, but it should be fun and enlightening -- come what may.

I invite you to join me in this, my cre8ive quest to escape the cliched life.

Drop your inhibitions.

Forget about your fears.

Expect the extraordinary.

And bookmark my blog. ;-)

This should be fun.