Yep...it is that time again... time for an oil change. I have taken it upon myself to change the oil in my Isuzu Rodeo the last few times it has needed it, not because I particularly enjoy it, not even because I am cheep and trying to save a few bucks... no, I have done it myself because Wal-Mart has refused to change my oil any more because they say my engine has a knock in it, and they are afraid to touch it, for fear that I will sue them should my engine blow-up as I am leaving the Wal-Mart parking lot. - True story! (Those 'Wal-Martians' are a bit weird if you ask me.)
Anyway, that is why I have been forced to take this dirty, time consuming, slightly annoying and all-to tedious of a task upon my own shoulders. (Although I will admit, it does satisfy some underlying masculine desire to be the master and commander of your own machine. ;-) But that's another story for another blog post.
Today I have decided to go with the low end Wal-Mart special Super-Tech brand of oil. Again, not because I am a cheapskate, but because my poor little Rodeo is old, sickly, and frankly I don't really think he would notice the difference between the $1.40 Wal-Mart brand and the $3.50 high-end brand anyway.
Ain't this a pretty view?
Darn Wal-Martians... who cares if the engine has a knock... can't I just sign a waiver or something... just change the freakin' oil people... I won't sue... I promise!
Gross...
Though there may be an understated "manly satisfaction" from changing your own oil, I am secure enough in my manhood to admit that I will NEVER enjoy the feeling - or the smell - of dirty used oil smeared all over my hands and arms.
Darn Wal-Martians!
As I unscrew the oil filter and try to remove it from the tangled web of iron that makes up the front portion of my engine, I somehow manage to get the darn thing wedged between a bolt and the metal frame of my front bumper... I struggle for 20 minutes trying to remove it!
Urrghhh!... Darn Wal-Martians!
When I finally get the stupid oil filter un-stuck, I crawl out from beneath my engine to see my dog Chonte cracking a smirk as she tries not to laugh at me. -- I'm glad to see someone is enjoying this fiasco.
Darn Wal-Martians!
I could be playing pool right now... or watching old re-runs of MASH... anything but this!!!
Oh yeah... and wipe that smirk off your face Chonte!
Finally, the messy part is over. Now all I got to do is fill the engine with the new oil, then I can call it a day.
Check out my sweet redneck oil funnel... a sawed-off coke bottle! How "redneck" is that! Shhh...don't tell anybody else about that one. But hey... it was free and it got the job done.
Mission accomplished. I feel somewhat satisfied in a job well done, but mostly I just feel like I wasted an hour-and-a-half of my life on something I really was not cut out to do in the first place...
Darn Wal-Martians!
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13 comments:
I went through an oil changing phase with my Honda Accord which I got over once I realized that my time was of some value. With it being a smaller car, you had to drive it up on some sort of ramp (or 2x6 pieces of lumber in my case) to get under it, put the pan under and drain it. The great part of the whole deal for me was the oil filter. On the Accord, it is mounted horizontally and somewhere near the dead center of the car. I'm not sure of everything that is hot in there, but I know that a few times I found it and was so startled, I would do this sort of seizure jump thing. When your arm is pinned in your car and you have that seizure jump thing, the only other thing that can happen is you getting hurt ie bumping your head, burning yourself further, etc. The other two joys that I had were occasionally dropping the drain plug in the oil pan and unscrewing the previously mentioned horizontally mounted filter and having warm oil pour down your arm. Long story short, I figured that with all the prep, cleanup and disposing of the oil, I was basically paying myself somewhere around $2.63 an hour with the money I saved. Stupid Wal-Martians.
Yes, I despise changing oil as well. The smaller and newer the vehicle, the more I despise it. Why can't new technology put the oil filter in the glove box? The only oil I change is that oil in my 67 mustang. It's all easy to get to, the filter is mounted right side up, and Wal-Mart had only 24 stores when this car was made. My dad always owned a variety of funnels, but the one he always gave the nod to was a quart sized oil container cut in a similar fashion as pictured here. I bet those Wal-Martians aren't smart enough to use good fnunels like that. Stupid Wal-Martians.
Stupid Wal-Martians!
Ditto - that last post... it can't be said enough times! :D
Stupid Wal-Martians! (if you are a previous or current employee of wal-mart, the previous comment is not directed at you because you are smart enough to read this blog making you exempt of current martian status)
Stupid Wal-martians!
Stupid Wal-martians!
Stupid Wal-martians!
Stupid Wal-martians!
Stupid Mal-martians!
Stupid Wal-martians!
Stupid Wal-martians!
Stupid Wal-martians!
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